Thus

“A man receives only what he is ready to receive, whether physically or intellectually or morally…We hear and apprehend only what we already half know. If there is something which does not concern me, which is out of my line, which by experience or genius my attention is not drawn to, however novel and remarkable it may be, if it is spoken, we hear it not, if it is written we read it not, or if we read it, it does not detain us. Every man thus tracks himself through life, in all his hearing and reading and observation and travelling.”

-Thoreau

Buying problems

They say buying used is buying someone elses problems. To this date, it has been 100% true. Every used motorcycle Ive bought has been littered with various problems of neglect, abuse and other hidden surprises. Sometimes the deals seem worth it, usually not in my case. A poorly written craigslist ad that essentially read "bike in a box". The price was almost the value of scrap metal. Sure enough it was a bike in a box. The story was told about the issue and at the time I didnt care, it was that cheap. I love putting things together, winter was setting in so why not. 

My kind of puzzle!

A nice paperweight. 

The reality sets in. The backstory was clearly a lie. Stripped and rounded fasteners everywhere. Liquid gasket slathered around. Okay Ill finish the rest of it instead. 

Without the engine, the rolling chassis has a value. I really hoped to get it running just as an accomplishment. If the backstory was true, I probably could have. 

Well nevermind. Broken metal and shavings everywhere. I lost my patience and unloaded it for cheap. It was fun putting the rest of it back together but I think I am done buying used without a very intense inspection. After having gone through the problems with so many different bikes I have a keen eye for such, its now more of a matter of being patient and not buying a bike just because I want it. Perhaps another revelation of age. 

Littering aint so bad

The action of littering is rather disheartening and quite often reflects a persons true colors. Ive never been surprised by someone who willfully throws their trash anywhere and happens to be an overall crappy person. With that said, I noticed a consistent amount of beer cans on the side of the road on my walking route to the gym. It really didnt trouble me to grab them on my way back home. Before I knew it, I looked forward to the walk because of the free money I brought home with me. I was walking anyways so why not. I turned this:

Into this:

It still makes me chuckle. Someone(s) is consistently drinking and driving, tossing their trash into the environment while I easily convert it into useful tools. Ultimately their loss my gain. 

Vanity

"It is a disgrace for someone to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which your body is capable"

- Socrates

For the longest time physical fitness was important to me. It still is. However my views, as vain as they may be, are waning. I set goals and I go out and meet them. Establish a goal weight and I get there. The toll has been taken. For the past year I used the good ole American gym and got wrapped up in what it had to offer. Quick and agile used to be the name of the game. Functional performance per say. I said goodbye to that and told myself, "I want to do what they do". Its as if reaching numbers would somehow improve my life. Coming from a naturally lean physique I would often get comments like "youre a lot stronger than you look". Thus boosting the warpath.  

Dedication got me to a 225lb bench, 350lb deadlift, 210lb squat and so on. By all means nothing extraordinary, just respectable numbers especially for my height/weight. Numbers that mean nothing. My life was encompassed by eating. Cycling through soreness.  4, 5 and even 6 days in the gym. Battling various injuries. Paying for the gym. In the end it got me nowheres. Maybe even a bit backwards. Here I lie, incapacitated by a cyclical sickness that voids my life of heavy physical exertion. At least for now. But thats a different story. 

Suddenly I realize what Ive done. Mirrors were my undying competition. I can never beat them. You can always be better. The never ending struggle is real and now, I dont care anymore. 

It amazes me how quickly my weight returned to an equilibrium. Im on the path of healing. Never again will I forget about functional, real world performance when it comes to exercise and fitness. Pushing and pulling heavy things did not improve my life. I lost time, money and physical longevity. 

Theres certainly more to life. I found out how strong I can be and it revealed how weak I can be.